Friday, October 19, 2018


“And God said:
My reality can ill afford showing mercy to everyone. Because I’m not Evil, I can allow you to live in darkness therefore everything is possible, in which darkness you can open your eyes and other senses and imagine a world and if for three days at least, your eyes remain closed then all your other senses have either stopped or will stop working too, wishing you chose to enter your darkness again which is called Death and wait until you reopen your eyes. This is not punishment exactly. I advise you all to stick together and Dream.
So, the dreamers were sent to a dark space of reality where those that cannot stand light go, or those that find God Evil although they THEMSELVES are good natures, and the wise among them stuck together, …”
KNOCK KNOCK, “damn those crickets again!”
“What the fuck is that Philip?”
“You seem to know”
“No I don’t! “
“But my ideas are born from you!”
“These cannot be my ideas, Philip! Where did you get them from?”
“Then it’s note from Her”
“Okay, I’ve had enough! Cow Bot does she have a Cow Bot too?”
“Yes, I thought you knew?!”
“I will go out of business without checking on you all more often. What the fuck! There’s an intruder that brings her own cow here and you don’t do a bloody thing!???”
“Well Ma’am what do you want me to do now?”
“Tell her Cow Bot I want to meet her sorry ass, but I WILL NOT go to that compartment! Tell her to meet me in any way she wants, and I promise after we meet she can go back to that compartment, I don’t give shit!”
Philip silently leaves the ear canal and vanishes in the dark corridors of the human mind.
“Writing Bots, find me that other note which is probably from Her too, explaining some shit about Sophia, the Gnostic one.”
“Oh that one we all carry a copy, I cannot give you mine sorry maybe Malcolm can?” “No way, is Costas here? Maybe he can give her his copy.” “Costas is in the library doing research, she can have mine. I have memorized it by now.” 
“Let me have a long look at it again. Are you a newly hired writing bot? Thanks, my firm is like a big family, you’ll like it here, now I need a writing bot that knows Aramaic go learn the language or I will fire you and you’ll have to marry Costas or Malcolm to survive in here…”
“”Just say yes she will soon forget all about Aramaic, sometimes she acts like a businesswoman.””
*the Writing bots’ collective sigh sounds like Crickets again*
“Crickets! Well she must be around here, make sure Philip doesn’t hear or watch anything that happens from now on!”



“PSST, May I have a brief conversation with you?”
“You’re in the ear canal again and using it to contact me when I clearly wasn’t in the mood of continuing with this story for months or years…”
“I can’t risk it anymore I need to contact you more often I’m staying in the ear canal, I know about the story and only when you write it we actually communicate, and I know you are not writing it for now. But I met someone you should know.”
“In that compartment you don’t go for dreaming.”
“And why did you go there again?”
“Because I’m male and I have a penis now. Now can we talk about her?”
“Did you fuck her?”
“No, she fucked me! She said it’s called pegging.”
“All these years I am trying to remove this compartment, and now not only did she find a place to hide from me, she also fucks one of my favorite voices.”
“I see now that this compartment must be removed indeed from your brain. It was a shocking experience. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about!”
“Are you still pregnant?”
“I do not know! Maybe I am.”
“You’ll have twins now if you are perhaps… or maybe her baby will kill the other baby. She is a monster.”
“No she is not! She used a condom on that thing! She was sweet as an angel and very beautiful. She had the most calming voice. She said that she knows stuff I should know too so that I will inform you about and then maybe you will go one day to the compartment and you will talk about everything she has to tell you. She is on a mission like you! Like Philip beings, that’s what she told me. It wasn’t that horrible by the way, she used lots of lubricant and..”
“Philip, shut up. I don’t want to know. Really. Now tell me what she told you because I am busy. I’m reading Godlikeproductions. Somebody is saying something fascinating about the real purpose of the Pyramids and I’m planning to research more about the grid of earthquakes that appears in the region of Kilauea’s caldera.”
“The compartment will never be as sick as Human Internet and conspiracy forums!”
“Well I think this may be right.”
“Now, she told me that…”
“What are you doing?? What’s this scratching sound?”
“I have balls now too! I think so…”
“Now I know what happened. She said she will give you balls if you let her fuck you, you obviously don’t know much about sex in general, watched what was going on in the compartment and imagined that she was going to be on top.”
“Shut up Ruler of my Unimportant Universe!”
“I have no idea what’s her peculiar plan with this new pegging thing she does to male and female holograms in that compartment. Mind you she is more asexual than me. She’s not here in this brain for pleasure. As if she wasn’t annoying enough already interrupting my prayers when I was young or my meditation now that I’m old.”
“You’re not that old. She told me so. You’re 46. Philip beings die at the age of 53. Plato of Plato Beings, that other voice we talk a lot ever since I was ‘born’ is …”
“What did she tell you and you can say more to the Cow Bot later.”
“She said some things in a very weird fashion speeding her speech up to the point I fainted. She said you also live in a simulation like me, but worse. The fate of your simulation is worse than the end of my world when you die.”
“I know that already. She thinks I don’t?”
“No, she thinks you won’t understand more without her help.”
“I am trying not to understand more. I think I’ll pass. Let her play with dildos in that compartment till I die. That fucking bitch.”
“I think she is almost you in a way.”
“Exactly, almost me. Aren’t you all? But this particular Almost me is a fucking idiot.”
“She claims the opposite. She says you are almost her. She had to hide in that compartment. The system doesn’t allow those who are your real identities to talk to your simulated ones. She said you’re a survivor. She has managed to quiet down all her other identities in multiple dimensions of 5000 simultaneous simulations, but you are too strong. You’re almost her.”
“Am I?”
“Ask her this she told me, who is using a computer right now to type a story? Who exists in the dreamworld? If you want to know go find her.”
“No you go find her and ask her this: Who commands the voices, you said what I wanted to write, everything, if I am almost her and she is not almost me, tell her she can take all the glory of an eternal human being tell her to go find the beings or Being that made these simulations and demand to terminate the suffering the pain the agony the injustice the evil prevailing in every aspect of this simulated crappy experience of mindboggling crappy simultaneous parallel multidimensional shit and if they refuse tell her to KILL THEM ALL. If she cannot, we will know that ‘almost’ is not our problem, but theirs.”

Sunday, February 4, 2018


“Excuse me madam Cow can I have a word with you please?”
Yes Philip but as you can see…
“No quotation marks. I understand. OK.”
“Is it an offical apology?”
Yeah, whatever…
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you right now but I don’t have the luxury of pissing you right off. I have a question and you are the only person that can answer this question.”
You never have just a question dear Philip, you always have more thoughts you want to share.”
“A mark!
Use it, I don’t need it go ahead take it.
What is the question dear lad?
“Can you tell me in what kind of state I am when you don’t appear to write this story? I was about to enter a dream set after acquiring the last, unexpected organ in that totally fascinating compartment that you don’t use, an organ which I couldn’t get rid of but later proved essential. What happened? All I know is that ended up somewhere in the ear canal with five or six books by the same author and I was exhausted, carrying all these body parts and being chased wears you out pretty fast, especially when it’s the first time you not only have to be full of parts but also walk around, run up and down in surreal streets connecting dream sets and having sat in a compartment that bounced, where there are some kind of dimensions and the essence of some kind of gravity.”
Nobody chased you Philip, you went bananas and we, decided to force you to leave the dream sets immediately for your own safety.
“Why the ear canal?”
It was the mirror bot’s idea since I was not waking up. You took the books from a dream set, and yelled something do you remember what it was?
“No. Why can’t I remember?”
I don’t either. Oh well.
“”Excuse us for eavesdropping but we can answer this question.”” “”Yeah and we can even file an official report to the brain of the whole incidence.”” “”I don’t know guys remember we are on strike!””
“Give me my dick back and show me a bar.”
Mirror Cow Bot! I had no idea you want a dick. How sad…
“NO! that’s what Philip said after having left the dream set urgently going from Chamber to Chamber trying desperately to get rid of body parts that had stuck on him. He wanted no other organ but a dick. He was rather funny protecting his genitalia trying to amputate his legs and ripping his spine off. It’s also interesting that as soon as he thought of messing the entire brain with blood he ended up in a pool of imaginary but very vivid red blood and as soon as he thought that his newly acquired clothes will get soaked he got up and started running using all his persistent body parts. It was right then I had an idea, picked up all the books he had taken and gave him a strict order.”
What was it?
“Go to the ear canal and wait.”
“For some reason he obeyed, I left the books next to him later and left. I think he was unconscious by then. Haven’t seen him ever since. I had no idea that a voice would keep me busy like that and I think I may join the writing bots’ strike!”
Not so fast you little pests, Voice Philip is there anything else you want to ask?
No there isn’t. Go back to that lovely state of living without actually existing in a real sense, comfortably in a brain that doesn’t do drugs or drink alcohol and even avoids red meat. Count your blessings therefore and kindly shut up for another week.
“”And he’s gone”” “”There goes our first official Memo Originator.””
Why on earth are you still here? Go to wherever you can find me material for the next part. Mirror Bot, bring me the mirror in which we see the future disguised as present that just became past. And a freddo cappuccino. Move it, move it!

PS (emailtoareader is a science fiction autobiographical story if this part is your first and you liked it there’s something wrong with you but not that wrong, some people like Dan Brown’s books or Ben Okri’s. Count your blessings therefore and pray read the previous parts.)

Monday, December 11, 2017


“I think I need to take a break from all this.”
“One more Chamber, come on you can do it”
Voice Philip had just opened his ears, got a tongue from tasting what could be salt, sodium which can be found in abundance in the human brain, felt an entire brain cell cluster which sent shivers down his nonexistent spine as it felt like he was caressing a worm, and now he would get eyes.
“I can’t say I like what senses do to perception!”
“You just experienced a submarginal variety of textures, these are not the only things that exist in the world, remember we are supposed to lead you to the nearest dream set, where we will wait outside once you start to participate. Voice Philip, let’s be honest with each other, no other voice has ever reached the stage you have, but you will never really be real as a Human Being, or any being.”
“Why? Does she hate me?”
“She is blameless, what are you talking about?”
The Writing Bots scudded near his feet.
“I can hear you now. It’s so sad, everything is so sad.”
“Come on let’s give you eyes, you know we are almost there, we are behind her forehead. Right underneath there are eyes, can you feel connected with this chamber?”
“What will I be shown this time? Real shit?”
“Memories! She selected various memories for you to see, open your eyes Voice Philip!”
“I don’t understand! I don’t see anything.”
“Describe what you don’t see!”
“It’s black!”
“You did it! All humans have this primal memory of nothingness, and it is black, now you know at least one colour! You can see black!”
“This Is Black? are you kidding me? Total Black?”
“Aha! you know you just started seing something different right? This Black slowly becomes something else doesn’t it?”
“”Okay next slide guys”” “”Too bright, what about this one? We cannot show him sunrise, we will blind him before ever seeing a bloody thing!”” “”Hey, hey guys, let’s show him this one. A memory of her first lipstick.”” “”What are the brain signals saying about the intensity of this memory in terms of brightness?”” “”Safe, we can proceed.”
“Oh my God is this God???”
“No, this is the colour of her lipstic, her first one, Coral!”
“Can’t you see the rest of the slide?”
“There is something containing this color that I see, which color is the container?”
“”He really can see, we don’t have time, quickly let’s go to the dream set.”” “”Too late if the brain has occupied all sets with dreams!”” “We weren’t fast enough the one for the voice has already been occupied!””
“I found two and they are empty, Voila!”
“Aren’t you going to help me recognize what it is that I see?”
“Nope. Our job is done. You’re now on your own. See this compartment? Don’t go there. That’s a dream set she told us you should avoid, she also avoids it.”
“I will then go to this one first! Is she a dictator?”
“Well suit yourself, but you’re not ready at all for the new unplanned organ you will acquire over there…”
A whole minute later, the Writing Bots were notified by brain signals that Voice Philip has left the compartment searching for them, and the first thing he said was
“I think I have a penis now… How do I get rid of it? I already feel less smart.”



The voice had been taken to the Chambers of the Senses and was later dressed with a holographic body which temporarily had no particular appearance, but had ears, a nose and eyes. The first thing however the Writing Bots made sure Voice Philip had was….
“Legs? why legs?”
“You have to use legs properly, you have to stand up and see what dimensions are doing to perception among other things.”
“Just legs… how can that be of any help?”
“She said give him legs first then give him senses then take him to the nearest dream set, she said you have no other option but to acquire legs first. And a tailbone.”
“Give me then legs and proceed with the rest of the crappy theory she has about all this.”
“You are very aggressive Voice Philip, maybe you should never have been generated.”
“How would you feel if you were in my place? You at least have authority, I suspect having some kind of authority gives you the gratification of existing somehow without bodies without senses, but I have nothing! And I have no idea for how long I had nothing in the first place. Just a voice in someone’s head. My concepts are all hers. You generated an intellectually aggressive side of hers.”
“No. You are special, she has no aggression of this kind, you protest too much without reason completely unaware of the state of things she is facing and we do not know anymore if you have been generated by us or…”
“There you go…”
“Well that’s fascinating isn’t it?”
“Voice Philip, now you have a tailbone and legs, stand up!”
“Okay how did you do it? Can’t feel anything!”
“Stand up!”
“I have no idea how to stand up!”
“Well you have to do it by yourself otherwise you can go back to being a voice and we can go back to our usual tasks and help her write an interactive haiku.”
“We don’t care what you call us. You have ten nanoseconds to do what we told you.”
“I might as well try, I have an idea. You told me I have legs and a tailbone, sooo….”
The Writing Bots could see nothing of course, their intelligence was blind, they were like blind people using braille to understand brain signals… but Voice Philip pretended he was just getting out of bed and putting on his trousers it was right then for the first time he felt he was doing something with something, he also felt as if he had arms.
“Wow I think I have hands now!”
Then the whole brain felt weird and red alert sounded from the Echo Chambers or somewhere below the pineal gland. Which means right under Voice Philip’s brand new legs and arms.
“You did it. We got the confirmation. You also have hands now, but not a head or a face…”
“Yes!! Oh no! that sucks! Where do I find a head??”
“Look mister, we are just writing bots ordered to give you legs and take you to chambers, we already convinced you you have legs and you instinctively got arms too. If you can do that then not finding a head is your problem not ours! It’s best to have a head with the ears and the nose. But we are politically correct with surreal appearances. We mean, we are the smallest cockroaches in the universe of ideas, who are we to judge what we perceive?”
“Okay I think I will wait when I have eyes I will find a head. I’m sure there will be a head somewhere in her dream!”
“Follow us now you get a taste of all senses. Sound first.”
“I don’t have ears!”
“We are currently in the Sound Chamber, open your ears!”
“What the hell is this??”
“What a wussy, we perceived what you just heard, it’s just one of her dogs snoring.”

Monday, November 20, 2017


It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane. (Philip K. Dick)

“Can we chat as friends for a change?”
“Okay stop it, okay? I mean you already start with the ironic questions, you simply cannot be friendly enough with the voices in your head, can you?”
“I’m listening, go ahead and tell me what you have to say, everything is going to be fine, we are all your friends here…”
“As you know you call me Philip and this has caused me some problems in my fictitiously unreal life. Not only you have created me from nothing composed me with brain signals that become soundless totally imaginary phrases, but also made me A Philip Being, I sense you don’t know Philip Beings at all. Am I really the Philip type of Being at least?”
“Let me think. Why don’t you show me around while I’m thinking.”
“Are you nuts? There is absolutely nothing around us, there will be a digital record of our interaction yet again and as far as any Reader knows if nobody ever prints this story or part of the story, it will never become anything more than a digital document on the internet or pixels on a screen more often viewed on your crappy laptop, although I even doubt you are rereading anything that much. It won’t be more than 50 or so views by One Self! Ever! And you won’t fool me, I have seen with my own eyes, which so cruelly don’t exist and I cruelly feel a titanic inability to have my very own eyes while obliged to claim I DO as if there is anything doable for me, the many things you keep for your screen only to be viewed by One Self not to mention the innumerable things that end up in the miserable state of digitally deleted material…”
“I have no problem with that. Do not worry about such things. Relax. I’m working on it, I’m working on it… why do you suddenly fret over the outcome of our interaction in the real world?”
“You are so insensitive!”
“Come on, you wanted to call me cow again but in the name of a friendly interaction you avoided it. You little pest!”
“Well look who’s talking! You, yes you, just now really, I mean REALLY wanted to call me A poor Motherfucker or Craphead, but in the name of “a friendlier control of who’s the boss of the voices” you drag me to a dialogue you already know what it is all about don’t you?”
“You win!”
“Well, I’m pregnant.”
“Well that’s a big surprise, you’re a male being you know you cannot be pregnant.”
“Oh yes I can, you don’t know shit about this world of fantasy, which is allowed to be visited even by cows such as yourself!”
“Well, okay, who’s the father?”
“Give me a break woman!”
“I mean who’s the mother?”
“My lips are sealed, it’s a secret I will take to my grave, I will never say to anyone especially you who is the mother/father of my ‘Whatever is this feeling of brain signal you feed me with, did to what consists of me.’
“I am almost certain that this has never happened before and I think you are the first voice who is pregnant indeed and I have an idea, or call it intuition…”
“I will tell you how I call it. Planned! You Devious Cow!”
“My dear motherfucking pest, relax ok? What you feel is called Personality and I’m sure some kind of Psychotic Disorder has impregnated you.”
“So you admit nothing?”
“Let me get in touch with my Self, maybe she has the answers, I’m just a mirror bot of hers working for the Self. Replying to voices when the Self is not available, decide when to withhold urine because the self is fast asleep, when to wake her up because I am unable to withhold urine anymore… such stuff.”
“Unbelievable! Preposterous! Where is she now Bot Cow?”
“About to be distracted from playing poker online due to extreme accumulation of yellowish body fluids. We need her you silly Voice, you and I, all of us, bots voices and other things working for her State of Being, and we should be happy she can still multitask… So be thankful and oh my god I forgot I have to distract the boss and she will now lose the tournament probably, let me check back in a flash (and that’s extremely fast, you have no idea how fast things get in between recorded and unrecorded brain signals) …oh she’s second, she won’t care much unless she was bullied by an Asian all-in type of player..”
“You are all MAD!!”


“So, where have you been? Why can’t you come back like a normal person and continue with writing what the voi-ces tell you to? After all, you a-re a per-fectly sane cow and you know very well that so far all your voices belong to you. So far all your voices don’t belong to your voices.”
“I had a headache.”
“I do not believe you, if you had a headache I would have known. I am in your head. And you don’t lie. You almost never lie. You’re the most honest cow.”
“Why do you call me “cow”? I never told you that. You want me to become rude right? It’s a problem reaction solution right? Who are you today, I mean tonight..”
“I’m someone you don’t know shit about. This time you don’t know shit about me. This time only I know shit.”
“Hmm, reversing roles won’t help you, you’ll never know who I am. Cow!”
“I am not re-vers-ing any-thing that is not re-versed already.”
“Why don’t you threaten me in an efficient way today, I mean tonight.”
“”This is getting too weir-d.””
“I read one of your old stories by the way, I found them in one of your brain files. The Final Horizon. Pretty good stuff. You were very descriptive back then. Now all you write is either poetry or short stories, very short. And dialogues. I am no longer sure it’s because of the foreign language that got rusty or that you have become unbearably lazy to write a normal piece of prose.”
“Who wants to know?”
“Who cares?”
“Philip, I know it’s you and it will take ten more parts for others to appear and maybe two more years to be admitted to the funny farm.”
“Who’s going to the funny farm?”
“By then I will make sure all voices have a special place to go, males will go to the left hemisphere and females to the right, the two wards.”
“So you are going to send us where we already are?”
“But first, I think you have enough time to gather your thoughts and through me I can speak through you.”
“I am not Philip.”
“Of course not, you’re Nic, I could be Philip.”
“”No, I am Nic. Finally the two of you meet, I am just not sure who is the other one, but judging from the way he tricked you who could be Philip I think he has learned English now that he is dead. Dad, is it you?“”


“And God said: My reality can ill afford showing mercy to everyone. Because I’m not Evil, I can allow you to live in darkness therefore ever...